70s songs & why we otherthink

Join me for the second episode of Positively Chill!  Each week we go on a musical journey - exploring impactful lyrics, mental health insights, and strategies for a positive mindset.  In this episode, I discuss more of my favorite feel-good songs and how these songs relate to overthinking, kindness, zombies and staying playful & weird. Listen to me try to tie in all these themes to music :) Hope you will listen and chill out.

70s-themed song list:
Lovely Day by Bill Withers,
I Wanna Be Sedated by The Ramones,
Don’t Stop Me Now by Queen

Say hi on Instagram @positively_chill

Transcript

 Hello. Hi. It’s Danielle. Thanks for joining me on Positively Chill. This is episode two and, like episode one, will be a Positivity Playlist episode. I pick some feel-good songs and just talk about them. And I hope you just chill out, vibe out, zone out - all the outs. Whether you’re driving, working, trying to relax, I hope you are a little more chill afterwards. Or if you’re just waking up, grab a coffee and let’s hang.

Speaking of coffee, on Saturday, I woke up and had a small iced coffee. I drink a lot of coffee usually. Not so much because I need the caffeine but because I like the taste. So I had my usual iced coffee and then was out & about and felt like it didn’t hit the spot, so I had a triple latte which has 175mg of caffeine. And then I forgot that I had that, so at lunch I had a nitro cold brew which has 200mg of caffeine. And wouldn’t ya know it, but my body wasn’t liking it. I felt so nauseous and couldn’t figure out why. My body was like “hey, how about some water?” and I was like “how about another iced coffee?” and my body was like “I really think you need some water or something” and I was like “nah, I’mma have another coffee. Collect your things. I’ve had it with your shit.” Shockingly, by the grace of God, I was able to fall asleep, but surprise! I was up at 3am and couldn’t fall back asleep… at all. So while I was laying awake, I had some time to think about this episode. And I also had time to overthink and overanalyze every interaction I’ve had in the past 4 years. Neat, right? 

How many times have you spent way too much time overthinking something?  Something you said, something you did, a reaction to someone, something you wore. The list is endless. The phrase "I can't believe I just said that" happens to me a lot. My brain's filter is like dial-up internet, taking its sweet time to decide which thoughts get to come out and play. For those of you who don't know what dial-up internet is... I can't. Just google it. I am not going to make the noise. 

So, yea, overthinking… for me, the smaller the consequences to an action or decision, the more I seem to overthink. For example, I agreed to go to dinner this weekend with a friend and while I love this friend, I just really don't want to go. I'd rather sit in my sweatpants with my dog and watch Schitt's Creek for the billionth time. And I've been thinking all week about how to get out of it. First off, for my friends who are listening, I'm not talking about you. I am talking about someone else. Another friend. You don't know him. He's new... here. Right, anyway, I will think about it all week and really there is no consequence to me canceling. My friend isn't going to defriend me for bailing on dinner. But the larger the consequence to an action or decision, I think about it less, because I am pushing it out of my mind. I don't even want to think about it. 

When we are overthinking, we create these elaborate scenarios in our minds. We imagine what the other person is thinking and feeling, when in reality, it is not based on facts in any way. In reality, the other person is probably not even thinking about it. It's like when we notice something about our appearance and think that everyone else notices it too. Like the time I dyed my hair purple and seriously no one noticed. Well, I exaggerate. But some people didn't notice. And to me that was shocking because it was something I was thinking about constantly. But, like our face or our hair, we notice things that most other people don't. We think about ourselves way more than other people think about us. 

Here's a little science lesson for you. Our brains overthink because we are built to problem solve. Dopamine initiates the process of problem-solving in order to reward the brain. Adrenaline is released and you get energy for all the intense problem solving you're about to do. And as you think about potential solutions, serotonin is released. Good ol’ serotonin. That’s the loop. But when we can’t find a solution, serotonin is blocked and cortisol is released. Pesky, naughty cortisol. The Lex Luther of our brain. Actually, it is probably more like Scarecrow from Batman than Lex Luther - and I know I am mixing my superhero villains, please don't come at me for this. Anyway, cortisol is the brain's overzealous security guard, always jumping into action when a chill pill is all you need. Cortisol doesn't need to be released in this situation but it is and that causes us to stress. The more you know.

I fear that some of you may be too young to know that reference. That jingle is implanted in my brain forever. Whenever I learn something cool, I just sing it to myself. For example, did you know that John Tyler, 10th president of the United States, has a grandson that is still alive? He was born… let’s see… Googling while podcasting. Ok, he was born in 1790 and died 1862. And his grandson is 95 years old. Harrison Ruffin Tyler. Bananas, right? The more you know.

Ok, I have gotten off track. Rambling is probably overthinking’s cousin but that’s for another episode I think. So, how do we get out of this loop? Have you tried banging your head into a wall? Kidding, kidding. Well, I am not a mental health professional but what I can say is this... Get to the state you want to respond in. If you want to respond in a peaceful way, then get zen. Get peaceful. You are not going to be able to respond peacefully if you are a ball of anxiety. So take the time to get to the state you want to respond in. Go for a walk. Lift some heavy weights. For me, heavy weights do something different to my brain than a cardio workout. They fatigue my body - and then my brain - more than other workouts. So I will do that if I feel like I need to burn off some anxious energy and get more calm. I don't think anyone has ever done a really great workout and been more anxious afterwards. I don't think. And for me, if I go for a long run, I am ruminating in my thoughts the whole time. I will replay conversations, make up conversations that didn't even happen, break up with myself, fire myself. So running is not the activity for me to do when I am overthinking. It will just make it worse. But lifting heavy weights pulls me out of my head. Likely because I am afraid of dropping a 50lb barbell on my head and I have to use all my brain power on that instead of overthinking other things. So find the thing that will put you in the state you want to be in when you respond, even if that means walking away from your computer, or leaving a party early, or even saying to, let's say, your boss, "hmm that's interesting. I will have to think on it and get back to you." So, try that.

So this is a Positivity Playlist episode, even though you may not know it. I spent so much time rambling that I didn’t even get to the songs. Today’s playlist is feel-good songs from the 70s. So, without further ado…

First song, Bill Withers, Lovely Day, 1977. Great opening beat. Gets that head bobbing. Yea, it’s a vibe for sure. “Then I look at you, and the world is alright with me.” What a line. “Then I look at you, and the world is alright with me. Just one look at you, and I know it’s gonna be a lovely day.” How sweet. How nice is that? Imagine if someone said that to you in real life. Man, it would make my day. There is so much courage in saying the words we feel, and we forget sometimes that the ones we love need to hear it. They need to actually hear the words and not assume you still feel that way.

Loving someone is effortless when they're at their best, right? Full of hope, and light and joy. But true love shines brightest when it embraced in the darkest, when that person crumbling under stress, or burdened with pain. That's when love truly shows its depth. And that is when we should say the words out loud.

And even if it is not with the ones you love, even with a stranger, it makes a difference. Kindness doesn’t a thing. Saying something nice to someone, a compliment or even a smile, can really make someone’s day. You don’t know what someone is going through at any moment and you do have the power to make other people’s day better. So, I hope if someone tells you that when they look at you, they know it’s gonna be a lovely day… cherish that. And pay it forward. Say something kind to someone else.

Next song, Ramones, I Wanna Be Sedated, 1978. This song always reminds me of the show, My So-Called Life. That show was a bit before my time, but I remember finding it and feeling like it spoke to me. I think when I found the show I was about the age that the characters were, somewhere around 16 years old. I was obsessed and there were only two seasons. Don’t you hate when that happens? You find a show or a podcast or something you love, and then it’s canceled. It feels like heartbreak. So that was me with My So-Called Life. And if I remember correctly, this song is in the episode where Rayanne gets fall-down drunk. Let me back up. If you haven’t seen the show, Claire Danes plays Angela, who I think is a sophomore in high school. And she’s not really an outcast but she is in the “in crowd” which I identified with. And I just felt like everything she was going through, I went through. She is dealing with family issues and coming into her own, coming of age. But she has these great friends, Rayanne and Rickie, who are also not “mainstream” teens. They are funky and unapologetic. But Angela is still dealing with her identity and how she wants to be viewed and how she wants to act and dress. All that stuff that we deal with as teenagers. And she has an obsession with Jordan Catalano, an older boy at her school, played with Jared Leto. And I also had an obsession with him. He was kinda the bad boy - he was a musician and never went to school and drove this really cool, classic car. And he just didn’t give a shit. Nowadays there is a term for this and it’s “emotionally unavailable” but I don’t think that term existed then, but if it did, Jordan Catalano would be the poster boy. So his band sang this song at a gig and then Rayanne was drunk and jumped on stage and sang it. I may not be remembering correctly the whole storyline, but this song is definitely in the show at somewhat of a pivotal moment because it brings Angela and Jordan closer together. And spoiler, she gets the guy…. Maybe that is why I loved the show so much. I should really rewatch it. I bet as an adult now it would be very cringey so maybe I won’t. I don’t want to ruin it.

And the last song is Queen’s Don’t Stop Me Now, 1979. I love this song. It puts me in such a great mood. This song always reminds me of Shaun of the Dead, which is a great, great Halloween movie. Well, it’s a zombie movie, but I always watch it on Halloween. This song is in the pub scene where they are beating the shit out of a bunch of zombies. Can we talk about how zombies aren’t very scary? I am such a chicken when it comes to horror movies. I literally get scared when watching horror trailers. No joke. I can’t handle it. But zombies just don’t scare me. They are so slow and dumb, right? I used to watch The Walking Dead and I watched Last of Us. If I had to pick a horror genre to live in - like if the world was ending and I had to pick aliens or ghosts or zombies, I would pick zombies. It’s a real no-brainer…. Ha. See what I did there? No brainer? Because zombies. Ok, I’m sorry.

Anyway, Shaun of the Dead is a great movie. Go see it if you haven’t. Anyway, some fun facts about Freddie Mercury that I recently found out. He once saved Billie Jean King - yes the tennis player - from a bar fight… well, I guess it was a fight in a night club and there were tables and chairs being thrown and he saved her. Isn’t that nice? Another fun fact, he would sometimes record nude. He had a bunch of vocal cord issues and found that rehearsing naked helped, for some reason. Not sure I understand the science behind it. I’ll have to look into this. 

Ok, so the song. It’s so good, right? Makes me feel so good and like I'm ready to kick ass. The line “I feel alive and the world, I’ll turn it inside out” sums up the song perfectly. I love listening to this song when I’m in a flow. Do you ever start working on something, writing something or painting something, and suddenly you’re in a flow, like time slows down. And suddenly you’ve been doing that thing for hours and you didn’t even realize it. Or, this even happens in conversation sometimes, when you’re vibing with someone and you get into flow and suddenly it’s 3 hours later. I love that. It’s such a good feeling but so hard to replicate. I don’t really have anything profound to say or relate to this song. It’s just a good time. Freddie Mercury is a legend and if I did have to say something profound about him is: keep being playful, keep being weird. My favorite Freddie Mercury quote, which I do think about a lot, is “I dress to kill, but tastefully.” Epic. Like, I will murder your eyes with my style, but respectively. Love it. He really was the original G. RIP, Freddie.

Anyway, that’s the episode. I hope that you're now positively chill. I am hoping to do this on a weekly basis, so please come back and join me again. 

Oh, and one more thing… I am recording this on May 1st and each month I plan on setting some intentions for myself for that month. I am still working on my list, but a few things I know I want to include is, celebrating every win, big or small. So often we are hard on ourselves for not doing something on the first try or needing more time on something than others. I remember in school feeling like everyone was finishing their work and their tests before me. And it would set me into a panic which then would make my brain just short-circuit. And I was always so hard on myself for needing more time and not being able to finish with everyone else. I realize now, as an adult, how toxic that mindset can be, and really, it has nothing to do with the outcome or output of the work. So who cares how long it takes? You’re a work in progress. Any achievement, no matter how long it takes, should be celebrated. So celebrate. Do something nice for yourself. Treat yo' self.

If I can get my act together, I will share my full intention list for May on my social media. Oh, yea, follow me on social media, please and thanks. I’m on Instagram at positively_chill. But if I don’t get my act together and post it, I will show myself some grace. 

That’s it. Remember, be kind to yourself. Show yourself the same grace you show the people you love. And remember, you can do hard things. And, of course, please stay chill.