Positivity playlist, appreciating the little things & giving power to others

Join me for the first episode of Positively Chill!  On this episode, I discuss my favorite feel-good songs and how these songs relate to fearlessness, sunlight for mental health, appreciating the little things and giving power to others. Listen to me try to tie in all these themes to music :) Hope you will listen and chill out.

Songs in this episode:
Murder on the Dance Floor by Sophie Ellis-Bexter,
Mr. Blue Sky by Electric Light Orchestra,
This Is The Day by The The,
Better Man by Pearl Jam,
Be Yourself by Audioslave

Say hi on Instagram @positively_chill

Transcript

Hi, Hello. I’m Danielle and thank you for listening to the first episode of Positively Chill. However you found this podcast, I appreciate you for tuning in – is that a term in podcasting, tuning in? Sounds very old-school radio. Anyway, point is, thank you for listening.

My goal with this podcast is to help you chill out and maybe sleep, if that is something you struggle with. I know that I do. I never had sleep issues - I was actually a really great sleeper - up until the pandemic. And then, ya know, the world fell apart and so did my sleep. And I was lucky that I found a few content creators that helped me get my sleep back on track, whether that was relaxation videos or, like this, a podcast to help with sleep. And I was very grateful for those, and am now trying to pay it forward.

So, I am not sure what the plan will be for this podcast in terms of structure. This is episode one, so who knows. Ideally, I would love feedback on what works and what doesn’t, but until then I am gonna do my thing. I will… just be talking, I guess. And hopefully that will lull you into a chill state, or to sleep.

For this episode, I am calling it: Positivity Playlist. One of the things that helps me deal with stress, anxiety, sleep issues, is music. So I put together a list of a few of my “happy songs” - ones that I go to when I need to be uplifted and feel good and remember that it ain’t always that deep. 

So in no particular order, here we go. First song: Murder on the Dance Floor by Sophie Ellis-Bextor.  Man, I have loved this song for so long. It slaps, as the kids say. That made me sound really old. I’m not. Not sure why I said that. Anyway, it is a banger of a song and if you haven’t heard it, pause this podcast and go listen. It’s one of those songs that makes you want to grab a hairbrush for a microphone and just belt it out, dance around the room. It’s a serotonin hit, for sure. Serotonin song.

This song was recently in Saltburn - the movie Saltburn, which gave it a bit of a revival recently, which I am here for. Anyway, Saltburn -  if you haven’t seen it and you like dark and twisted movies, go see it. It’s wild. It’s a tour de force, as the critics say. Half the movie I was whispering to myself “what the fu…” There are a bunch of great actors in it. Barry Keoghan is the main character. There is a wild sex scene – would we even call it a sex scene? I am not sure what to call it. The actor, Barry Keoghan, is simulating… sex… with the ground in a graveyard. I am not going to give you a synopsis of it. That isn’t what this podcast is. Imagine if it was? Imagine if I just recapped sex scenes from various movies? That’d be interesting. 

Anyway, so Barry Keoghan has multiple sex scenes that are… let’s say, unconventional. Not what you generally see in movies. And he is nude, a lot. And the reason I bring up the scene in the graveyard is because he is fearless as an actor. It takes an insane amount of guts to do what he did in a film. And while the movie or the plot or those scenes may not be for everyone, you have to admire his fearlessness as an actor. He really goes for it and does something that most actors would not. And as someone who can be paralyzed by fear in many situations, I admire that. 

And it also reminds me that fearlessness is not the absence of fear. It’s doing the scary thing in spite of it being scary. A lot of times I think we’re hard on ourselves about not being brave enough to… ask for a raise, ask out the cute guy or girl, move to a new city, even talk to a stranger to try to make a friend, whatever.

So when I see someone doing something fearless like that, I admire it but then I show myself some grace when my brain immediately goes to comparing myself and frustration over not being brave. So please, show yourself some grace too.

Second song is Mr. Blue Sky by Electric Light Orchestra. I imagine flying into London and listening to this song. That and London Calling by The Clash. So on the nose and basic… B (not sure if I should curse on this podcast or not so let’s just say basic B). Anyway, I always imagine landing in London and listening to this song. It’s been a hot minute since I’ve been in London and I really want to go back soon. 

Anyway, I digress. This song is about the appreciation for something as simple as a blue sky. What is better, after days of clouds and gray and depression, than a bright, blue sky? So, I am lucky enough to live somewhere that doesn’t get a dreary winter and has a ton of sun. But I used to live in an area of the country with traditional seasons so Winter would be gray skies all the time. 

And it really does affect your mood, or at least it did for me. Well, we know from research that it is not just me. Seasonal depression is real. And even in the Spring, Summer and Fall, sunlight can dramatically improve some many elements of your health. Get 5-10 minutes of natural sunlight on your face - without wearing sunglasses, I know we all love a dope pair of sunnies but no sunglasses here - in the morning and again in the afternoon. This has a lot of positive outcomes to this, including better mood, improved sleep, hormone regulation and stress reduction. So basically all the things, right? So try it. See if it helps. By the way, PSA time for your friendly podcaster, don’t look directly at the sun. Ok? Cool, thanks.

Next song is This Is The Day by The The. This song also made a little revival recently due to the Netflix show, One Day. If you want an ugly cry, watch it. It’s so heartbreaking and devastating. My heart actually hurt after watching it. And I had seen the original movie too so I knew what was going to happen and yet I was still sobbing. Anyway, I first heard this song in one of my favorite movies, Empire Records. It was a bit before my time, but I friggin’ love that movie. I wanted to work in a record store so badly after I saw that movie, but there were barely any left. Remember Sam Goodies? I wanted to work there, but by the time I was old enough they were all closing. And in came streaming music and iPods and all that to destroy record stores. But the premise is, there are a bunch of young kids who work in an independently-owned record store, and they are a bit of a motley crew. It’s kind of like Breakfast Club where there is a princess and a jock and a stoner, a little bit of everything. And in Empire Records, there are lots of kids who don’t fit in - maybe “misfits” but are loved by this little community. It’s actually a really nice story of acceptance and self-love and that there is somewhere for everybody. And when people can see beyond their differences and love each other (and love music), that they are all happier for it. Maybe I’m going too deep on it. But anyway, it’s a great movie and a great early-90s soundtrack. Check it out. 

Anyway, back to the song - the beginning of the song seems like it may be a little depressing - like one of the lyrics is “The calendar on your wall is ticking the days off.” And it seems like it is going to be a story of missed opportunities. Which, by the way, I have been really aware of the feeling of holding off on things just because you’re waiting for the right time. Make today special. Don’t wait for a holiday or a special event or someone else’s permission. Crack open that bottle of champagne you’ve been holding on it….. I have had the same bottle of champagne - a really nice bottle that was a gift - in my cabinet for 5 years. And I don’t know what I am saving it for. Instead of waiting for a special occasion, opening it would be the special occasion. Hold on, I’m gonna go crack open some bubbles. Kidding.

Anyway, maybe the song is about missed opportunities because those make you appreciate when the special day does arrive. The song is about today being the day that will start or change everything for you. It’s so hopeful and sweet.

The next two songs have a grunge theme. Grunge was a little bit before my time. It started in the early 90s which I was not really listening to any music at that point. Well, I guess I was. My dad was making me listen to Classic Rock which I loved and still love. And my mom was making me listen to disco so…. yea. But once I was old enough to start appreciating music, I went back to grunge. I loved Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Stone Temple Pilots, Smashing Pumpkins. And that brought me into Alt Rock, which I still love today. I actually recently saw Stone Temple Pilots, obvi not with Scott Weiland but their new lead vocalist who was great, from what I could tell (I was in an outdoor amphitheater so he could have been shit but I don’t think he was. He sounded amazing and actually a lot like Scott Weiland). So STP opened and then Smashing Pumpkins was the headliner. And man, did that bring me back to high school. 

First song: Better Man by Pearl Jam.  Can we talk about grunge music without including this song? It’s epic. Legendary. I would be remiss to not include it. My entire reason for listening to Pearl Jam was because of Eddie Veder. I had the biggest crush on that man. Well, scratch that… I did love that man, but his music is next level so I wasn’t only listening to him for that reason. His music is amazing, so let’s give credit where credit is due. But as a 15 year old girl, he was it. He was it for me. And he is more than 20 years older than me so I am not sure what I was thinking. Not that age is a factor. I truly don’t think age has any factor in relationships (generally), but the real factor was that he was a rockstar and I was a sophomore in high school. Delusional. Anyway, I loved Pearl Jam, and if I am remembering correctly, they were the only poster I ever had on my bedroom wall growing up. I was more of a photo collage person so I didn’t have a ton of posters, but he was it. Just a big ol’ poster of Eddie Veder. 

Anyway, now that you know far too much about my childhood fantasies, I am going to move on to the song. I feel like I am going to regret this and I have no actual audio editing skills otherwise I would maybe remove this part, but eh, why not. We’re getting to know each other.

Ok, so Better Man. What a heartbreaker, right?? This woman settles for a man that she doesn’t love because she thinks she can’t find a better man. Wow. Intense, but also probably very relatable for many people. I think for a lot of people who settle in relationships, it must be due to a lack of confidence, right? Like, can I find someone else if I leave this person? Am I good enough to find someone better? But I also think it is probably a slow burn, meaning that people who feel stuck in relationships didn’t feel that way when they started. No one starts dating someone they have luke warm feelings for, right? Well…. I am sure there are some situations where that is true, but for the most part, the feelings are intense in the beginning and then for some, those feelings slowly dwindle or change. 

It’s like the frog metaphor that is used in mental health to explain why we accept crappy situations and settle or don’t change crappy situations. So, the metaphor is like this - if you put a frog in a pot of water, it’s very happy. Being in water is homeostasis. It doesn’t see anything wrong. But then if you put that pot on the stove and slowly turn the heat on, it still may not think anything is wrong. The temperature is rising so slowly that the frog doesn’t notice. And then suddenly the frog is stuck in a pot of boiling water and can’t get out. It’s too late. We would never jump into a shitty job or an abusive relationship; we see the boiling water and are like “F no.” But if we got in the pot when the water was room temperature and the temperature was rising, we maybe wouldn’t notice. Or we would notice but settle for not changing because we don’t think the water will actually boil. I am probably not doing this metaphor justice, but I hope you know what I mean. And I hope that if you’re that frog, you can feel the water start to boil and jump out.

And the last song is Be Yourself by Audioslave. So Audioslave isn’t technically grunge. They are alt-rock, I know.. Don’t come at me. I know it’s not grunge but I wanted to include this song because I love it. Anyway, there is an interesting lyric in the beginning of the song where Chris Cornell - if you don’t know Audioslave, Chris Cornell - the amazing, epic Chris Cornell who was also the lead singer of Soundgarden - anyway, Chris Cornell is singing about different types of people and the type of person who “finds salvation in everyone.” The lyric is “Someone finds salvation in everyone.” And I always thought that it was beautiful, like someone always finding the good in others. But then as I got older, I realized that isn’t what he is saying. It’s like when people saying “prove it to others you can do it.” But you should prove it to yourself. When you give others the power to build you up, you also give them the power to tear you down. And I think someone who finds salvation in everyone else is never going to find salvation in themselves. And maybe even the opposite, when you’ve given someone else so much power over you. Maybe it ain’t that deep. Maybe he was trying to rhyme. Kidding. 

If you don’t know Audioslave or Soundgarden or Chris Cornell, please listen. His voice is angelic, at least to me. Such an amazing vocalist and songwriter and unfortunately taken way too early by suicide. To end this one on a happier note, the namesake lyric of the song is “to be yourself is all that you can do.” And that is so simple and beautiful and profound.

So that is my very short list of feel good songs. I have an entire playlist but I picked a few that were top of mind. Maybe next time I will go through the others. Anyway, that’s the episode. I hope that if you weren’t lulled into a sleep by this then you’re at least positively chill. I am hoping to do this on a weekly basis, so please come back and join me again. 

Remember, be kind to yourself. Show yourself the same grace you show the people you love. And remember, you can do hard things. And, of course, please stay chill.