Summer songs & slowing down

In this episode, I discuss summer songs, how to slow down, Stress Reduction Theory and why I am a good wingwoman :) Listen to me try to tie in all these themes to summer music. Hope you will listen and chill out.

Songs in this episode:

Please Please Please by Sabrina Carpenter*

Feels Like Summer by Childish Gambino,

Badfish by Sublime,

This Girl by Kungs & Cookin’ on 3 Burners,

*explicit lyrics

Say hi on Instagram @positively_chill

Transcript

Welcome to the Positively Chill podcast. I’m Danielle. Thank you for joining me. If you are new to Positively Chill, each week I explore impactful lyrics, mental health insights, and strategies for a positive mindset. I hope it helps you unwind and soak up some good vibes. 

Before I get into this week’s episode, a little housekeeping. If you like this show, please subscribe and/or leave a review. It helps spread the word and, well, it would just make my day. So if you can, please go do that. Even if the review is one sentence like “Danielle is the coolest” or whatever, whatever you want. I won’t tell you what to write. 

Today’s episode is…. summer theme. Summer is here, for sure. For my friends on the West Coast, Southwest and Texas, I hope you all are surviving the heat dome. It’s hella intense. I live in an area where a lot of houses don’t have AC because it was historically not needed. My neighbor, for example, doesn’t have AC in his home; he uses fans in the window and just blows pollen directly into his bed. I don’t usually have seasonal allergies but I think I would get them from that. Just wake up covered in a sheet of yellow pollen. That’s a great way to catch debilitating allergies. Anyway, luckily, in California, we don’t have much humidity so if you want to sh… sit in the shade. I almost said shit in the shade. If you want to shit in the shade, you can do that. I guess it would be better than… shitting in the sun? Let me start again, if you sit in the shade, because there is no humidity, it was actually comfortable but as soon as you got into the sun, it felt like your skin was melting. Anyway, summer is here. That was my way of saying summer is here. So I’m doing a summer-themed episode.

Random thing that has nothing to do with summer but has been rattling around in my head all morning was the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang song. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, we love you. I don’t know how to get it out of my head; it’s even in there right now while I’m recording this. I loved that movie growing up. And so I decided, instead of doing the things I needed to do this morning, that I was going to go down a rabbit hole, so I google’d Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and was shocked at what I found out. The author, Roald Dahl, wrote Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, but he also wrote James and the Giant Peach, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Matilda and The Witches. I knew he wrote Charlie and the Chocolate Factory James & the Giant Peach, but I had no idea he wrote the others. And The Witches! That was a crazy ass movie. I remember being a kid and watching that movie and losing my mind. The witches were all bald and they were turning kids into rats? Was that the plot? Who knows. He also wrote the screenplay You Only Live Twice, the James Bond film. This would have been a great segue into an Adele song or a Billie Eillish song since they both wrote theme songs for Bond movies, but alas, I didn’t piece that together until just now. Real-time big brain work happening here. 

So now that that random piece of info is in your head and hopefully by sharing it it leaves my mind, let’s get on with it. My summer anthem, hands down, is Please Please Please by Sabrina Carpenter. I didn’t know who she was until recently, but I have definitely been hearing her name, and I see she has a Top 40 song. But this song isn’t that Top 40 song, yet, but it might be. I think this may be the right time I have included a current Top 40 artist, now that I am thinking about it. I can’t stop listening to it. Literally I am listening to this song 20x per day, no joke. I am addicted. I am sure Spotify thinks that there is something wrong, I put the song on repeat and then walked away. But nope, I’m here. Listening over and over. I think what I like about it so much, besides the lyrics which I will talk about in a minute, is that it opens with these synths and this disco-like sound, like an ABBA sound. And then in the chorus, she has a bit of a twang to her voice, almost like Dolly Parton. It’s a very odd combination - ABBA and Dolly Parton - but it really works. The layered vocals and softness of her high octave is angelic, but then it’s juxtaposed by her sassy little lyrics. The song is about her poor judgment in picking men and, naturally, she picks the wrong man again, who she tells, in some choice words, to not embarrass her and “prove them right.” Have you ever been there? You know the person is wrong for you but you’re gonna do it anyway? Why do we do that? I am sure it’s related to our childhood in some way, as is almost everything, but… maybe I will explore that more in another episode. Or, have you ever been in this situation - I have been in this spot, where you are begging your friend to make a better decision? I have literally dragged some of my friends out of bars or parties, pulling them by their arm, kicking and screaming. I spot them talking to that guy who they shouldn’t be talking to - the guy who we have heard all the stories about, the guy who never called them back, the guy who dated another one of my friends and messed her up for months. Yea, that person.  And I’m all, “not tonight, satan.” So I am the friend dragging people away. I am one of those people who aggressively believes in and defends my friends, and apparently I’ve taken it upon myself to be General of the Buzzkill Brigade. But you know what? They thank me. They do. Most of the time. I am a legit wingwoman though. I will protect you from bad decisions and keep an eye out, but I am also there to hype you and entertain my counter-wing-person - you know, the wingman or wingwoman of the person your friend is chatting with. I also always have hand sanitizer and usually gum, so I am handy to have around. 

Anyway, the lyrics I love are the chorus - “heartbreak is one thing, my ego’s another. I beg you, don’t embarrass me, mother f*cker.” Damn, those are some lyrics right there. She sounds so sweet while she’s singing them too. I will be listening to this song all summer, I just know it.

Next song is Feels like Summer by Childish Gambino. This song is so vibey. It’s like a sexy vibe song. There is this really cool beat and falsetto that sort of lingers. And it’s mellow but upbeat at the same time. Childish Gambino is the stage-name for actor Donald Glover, who you may know from Community and Atlanta, both great, great shows. I think those shows were both so perfectly written, in different ways obviously. Community was silly and fun and playful, and Atlanta was… none of those things. Well, it was funny but not in the same way. 

Speaking of Community, the show Community, fun fact about me… when I was about 11 or 12, my celebrity crush was… most girls at the time were into Leonardo Dicaprio or Johnny Depp or Keanu Reeves. Mine was Chevy Chase. Now before you turn this podcast off, let me defend myself for a minute. You are thinking of Chevy Chase from Community and I am talking Chevy Chase from Fletch. I adored him in that movie, so funny and his little short shorts and his tan. Anyway, it just did it for 11 year old me, no idea why. I am sure I could unpack this in therapy, but I will not. Anyway, so middle-school-me had a crush on a 40-something year old man, and one time I was in New York City with my parents and saw him at a restaurant and my parents wouldn’t let me go say hi because he was eating dinner, presumably with his wife. And you’re probably thinking to yourself, what would you have said to him? What would 11-year-old-you say to him? Ok, enough with your logical questions. I have no clue, but I wanted to go talk to him and my parents wouldn’t let me and, you know what? I still hold it against them to this day. I hope that you appreciate how honest and vulnerable I am on this podcast. I really tell some embarrassing stories for your entertainment… or for your confusion or dismay. 

Anyway, the lyrics I like from this song are “seven billion souls that move around the sun, rolling faster, fast and not a chance to slow down. Slow down.”

Slowing down is so much easier said than done, right? I would love to slow down and be more intentional in my life. When we rush, we skim the surface, and fail to make real connections with other people. Mindfulness, attentiveness, and intentional living keep us grounded in the present, but it’s so hard, right? I have spent a lot of time reading about this, listening to experts on this topic, and the solutions are sometimes more abstract than the idea of time itself. We all would do it if it was easy, right? It’s like telling someone to “calm down” or “relax” or when you’re having trouble falling asleep and someone says “just surrender to sleep.” Forcing yourself into the present, it’s like meditation when you are supposed to “quiet your brain.” Cool, cool but how do I do that? 

Part of the amazing thing about the human brain is that we receive an insane amount of input and stimulation every day, but because our brain can go on auto-pilot for some of things, we can manage through the day. Imagine if we had to deal with millions of sensory things in our brain on a given day? We’d fall apart. It’s called habituation and it happens when the brain reduces its response to repeated or continuous stimuli, meaning it effectively filters out non-essential information to prevent sensory overload. Then we can focus on the important stimuli and reduce the cognitive load, enabling us to function efficiently without being overwhelmed by the constant influx of sensory input. But does habituation create a time warp? We mark time with events, life changes, states of being, etc. If your whole life looks similar it might blur together. Time slips away more when we are in autopilot mode. 

So how can we combat this? I don’t know if it can help with being more present and slowing down, but it will pull you out of auto-pilot. And that is: do new things. Try to mix up your life a bit, in big or small ways. Be spontaneous. Change something just for the sake of changing it. 

One of the things many of us pride ourselves on is the ability to multitask. We act like it’s a superhero quality. And sometimes it is. Don’t get me wrong. We have a list of things we need to complete, we have a household to run, we have a business to run where employees rely on us for their paycheck, we have responsibilities and limited time. So multitasking is the only way to get through all of that. We jam-pack our days full of stuff and then need to find a way to get through it all. But there are many studies that show multitasking actually has the opposite effect of what we think it does and can lead to reduced cognitive performance, decreased productivity & quality of work, impaired memory and an increase in stress. So all of that is not great, in and of itself. But also, it prevents us from focusing on the single task in the way it needs to be. So, try to not multitask. Single task. As much as you can, at least. Without falling behind on your tasks and responsibilities and then causing stress and anxiety. Also, I know this is easier said than done. 

Also, to go back to spontaneity, when I say “be spontaneous,” I don’t mean book a trip to France although that would be great, but probably most of us are not gonna do that. It can be something small, like if you live in a city or have the opportunity to do this, maybe you walk or ride your bike to work one day instead of driving. Maybe instead of texting someone you FaceTime them. I love a good FaceTime. I really do appreciate seeing someone’s face when I’m talking to them. Maybe you mix up your workout or take a different running route. I usually run 3-5 miles, usually 4x/week and I almost always take the same route and I almost always listen to the same playlists. I have a heavy metal playlist, heavy metal/rock. And then I have a hip-hop playlist, and I rotate between those two on the same route almost every time. This morning, I decided to mix it up and I went to a county park in my area which is beautiful and it has a lake and running trails, and it forced me to be more present for a couple reasons. One I wasn’t sure where I was going or how long I had been running so I was trying to clock that in my mind, and there were more hills than I was used to running, which takes a mental focus to keep pace when running uphill. Also a little painful, running up those hills which brought me into the moment. I randomly got a mid-back spasm while running which was a first, so that brought me out of auto-pilot. But in a better way than that, it made me appreciate my surroundings. I was hearing birds chirping and little animals wrestling in the bushes and the sound of the creek. And it made me appreciate the moment, even though I was struggling to keep pace, I was in it and was not on autopilot. So being spontaneous doesn’t have to be something major, it can be small and still pack a punch.

Being out in nature will not only give you the physical activity and sensory input help, but there is something called Stress Reduction Theory which says that natural environments are often perceived as less threatening and more enjoyable compared to urban environments. This perception (less threatening surroundings) can lead to reduced physiological arousal and stress levels. So while urban environments require directed attention, which can lead to mental fatigue and increased stress, natural environments, on the other hand, allow for involuntary attention, which is less mentally taxing and can help restore attentional capacities. As humans, we have an innate tendency to seek connections with nature. So go be outside and try to slow it down.

Next song is Badfish by Sublime. The interesting thing about this song is on its face - on the surface - it seems like just a great, laid-back summer song, with its reggae sound. And I had never really thought about the lyrics until now. Again, why I love this podcast. It makes me examine lyrics that I never really thought about before. So, on its face, this song is a vibey little summer song. It reminds me of being at an outdoor restaurant or bar, on the beach, drink in hand, toes in the sand. The place that I go with my family in the summers is an island off the East Coast and it’s such a special place. There are these cute little beach bungalows everywhere - although now they are being knocked down for monster homes which is a little sad. And everyone rides their bikes everywhere and no one wears shoes and everyone says hello to each other. It has this sort of throw-back feeling to it. So the daily schedule is that we get up in the morning, we pack up the cooler and chairs and umbrellas, head to the beach, set up chairs by the water, turn on some music and eat food and have drinks and spend the whole day. And then around 3pm you see everyone heading home, walking off the beach & down the little, narrow streets back to their homes. And you shower and take a nap - the best nap when your skin is sunkissed but also clean - and you climb into a bed with cool sheets and take the best nap. And then around 5pm you wake up to start making dinner with your family, put on more music, cocktail hour begins and the night is on. It’s such a special place to me - one where I will be in just 2 weeks and I cannot wait. But anyway, these type of songs immediately transport me there. I can almost smell the sea air when I hear this kind of music. It’s like a memory in a song, in a sound.

But, this song is interesting because it’s actually quite sad and dark once digging into the lyrics. The term “badfish” refers to someone who is hooked on heavy drugs, specifically heroin. While the band never explicitly said that is what it’s about, the lyrics seem to explore addiction and the struggle to “be set free.” The lyrics are “I’ll never be set free” meaning from addiction. On occasion, when playing this song live, lead singer Bradley Nowell would sing: "Lord knows I'm weak, won't somebody get me off of this tweek?" He would change the word to tweek instead of reef. Nowell died of a heroin overdose in 1996, just 4 years after the song came out. This may be a good segue into a discussion on addiction, but I am definitely not qualified for that, so I am not going to connect this one with any mental health insights. I just love the song but was also bummed out to learn about its real meaning. But, on a happier note, Sublime is now touring again with Jackob Nowell, son of former lead singer Bradley Nowell. And that makes me happy that their legacy lives on in such a special way. 

Last song is This Girl by Kungs & Cookin’ on 3 Burners. This is one of those songs that if you have it on in your headphones and you’re walking down the street, you’re dancing. I was walking my dog yesterday and dancing along the sidewalk to this song. My neighbors are used to me being weird, so it’s cool. This song is by an Australian funk trio called Cookin' on 3 Burners, featuring vocals by Kylie Auldist and then a DJ named Kungs remixed it. A lot of cooks in the kitchen on this song. See what I did there? The band is called Cookin’ on 3 Burners. Cooks in the kitchen. Ok, I’m done. That’s it - just a great summer song. Nothing else.

Like last episode, I’d like to end with an affirmation. If you want to repeat it at the end with me or aloud, if that feels good or right to you, please do so. Otherwise, you can just listen.
Everything is temporary, including the challenges you face. Your current circumstances do not define your future. There is always hope, even in the darkest moments, even when your mind tries to convince you otherwise. Trust in the process of life, knowing that change is constant and can bring new opportunities and blessings. Embrace each moment, knowing that it is just a chapter in your story, and better things are yet to come. Your strength and resilience will carry you through any adversity. Believe in yourself and in the brighter days ahead. So, the affirmation is this: I will embrace each moment, knowing that it is just a chapter in my story, and brighter days are ahead. 

That’s it. That’s the episode. Again, if you like this episode or any episode, please rate and/or review. It really does helps. Next week will also be a summer themed episode but it will be classic rock theme. And I will be talking about resilience, among other things.

Remember, be kind to yourself. Show yourself the same grace you show the people you love. And remember, you can do hard things. And, of course, please stay chill.